Had wanted to type down how I feel since the past few days. After writing a whole chunk of phases, it was either eventually deleted or without any effort in completing it, I simply click on the ‘cross’ sign at the top right hand corner of this window. *Does anyone share the same experience as me at times?* Or, maybe I fear people (those whom I know) reading it and the last thing I want is that pity look in their eyes!
Maybe I don’t wish to record all those unhappy moments thus it explains the above… Or, maybe I still bear a slight hope that by typing it out, all the worries will simply be gone forever… So Complicated, So Contradicting, So Complex… (What’s with all the ‘Cs’, it kind of symbolize the ‘shape’ of any human being, turning into one PATHETIC PRAWN posture whenever they are down.
I doubt I would be able to string up all these writing and make it seem sensible to anyone reading it! Anyway, its for me to know! My daily morale for the past 8 days had never stop heading down towards ZERO…
Problems, Worries, Troubles… They are everywhere and kept coming, why can’t they just get away from me and my surrounding people? Why do they have to continuously haunt / stalk me every now and then? What do they always happen at the least expected time? Why cant there be a STOP to all these? Hahahaha… Everyone knows that only dead people will be free from these unexplainable occurrences.
What can you do when you are so far away?
Why worry?
Leave it to them – they can handle without you!
Let nature takes it course or at a better stride.
Why can’t I be as suave as what I wrote… I really wish to enjoy the meaning of tranquil without having to be a dead person and I wish the same for those people I hold dear. If I were to be a dog, does every dog have its day applies to me too? If mine were to come soon, can I exchange mine with THEM so that they would be free from all these nonsense?
Problems are part and parcel of your life, it makes you grow stronger. To hell with anyone who dares say that to me! STRONGER – I don’t even fucking feel at all stronger but cultivate a heart so cold, an inability to shed a few deserving tears, an amusing reaction to smile and laugh during the bad times. GA NI NA, You call all THESE as being stronger? I term it as Abnormal, Pitiful & downright FORLORN. SUPER ‘LOR LAN’!!!
Have you heard of a song: <不能跟情人说的话>? Do you know the difference between: Being Strong & Putting on a Brave Front?
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You are nowhere near to being GREAT! Don’t you fucking expect me to pity or sympathize you because you got a BIG FRIED SQUID for not turning up on your new job! Just because you are worried of that someone wellbeing, vexed over that sudden change in personality and fear the danger that might fall upon and eventually affected your so-called NO-HEART in working by keeping that person company!!! Which does you lack? IQ / AQ or EQ, that makes you can’t think right and not secure that dough of yours?
I am as vexed as anybody and that person also happens to be someone I can’t live without! Does that mean I can stay at home and not go to work? Does that means I can book the earliest flight back to Singapore?
After a few days of effort, you come back telling me that you BO BIAN LIAO! If you lack that piece of love and effort, you are free to go, i dont have time to even talk to you or make you realise that you are wrong. You are forever not wrong, just lead your life and stay clear!
Drop the ball, suit you – BYE!
Do you think you are the almighty? Do you think you are able to change things within a few days compared to what I did for the past few years and coming years in putting / pulling every slightest thing in order?
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Test water – Don’t you find it at all TOO childish for your age? I felt so ashamed for you when you tell me all these rubbish! TEST WATER – what a laugh!
Asking something in the hope that the someone will reply something which you want to hear. Foolishly thinking that such reply can determines – LOVE for oneself? GA NI NA! Can you fucking wake up your idea?
SERVE YOU RIGHT that the reply turn out to SHOCK the hell out of you, simply because it your childishness to be blame!
You are guts sure that you wont do it, why use it as a gauge to TEST WATER! Why asked? Now that people abide by finding routes for you – you term it as: A bit of fear for oneself safety also doesn’t have! Isnt this asking for it? If you would have been mature enough to not use such things as a level gauge.
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All you want is to be that Mr. NICE GUY in front of those people who will be easily shaken by your WORDS and convince by your presentation and making that someone a fallen victim, attack by those people who loves the victim TEN TIMES more than you. Do you know what you are doing or saying? Do you know it hurt TEN TIMES more for them to scold or turn their back against that someone whom they most pamper? Are you being fair to that victim who is or had absolutely no idea what is happening once sober?
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CCB – You just try to tear down what I built up for years; don’t push your luck – I VOW I won’t SPARE YOU! Don’t think too highly of yourself, you don’t inherit what you assume you have… the ability to make a mess in my family. You may think I don’t talk sense, you jolly well get this right – I DON’T TALK SENSE WHEN IT INVOLVES MY FAMILY!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A whole mess of situation… happening… I am tired!
Maybe I don’t wish to record all those unhappy moments thus it explains the above… Or, maybe I still bear a slight hope that by typing it out, all the worries will simply be gone forever… So Complicated, So Contradicting, So Complex… (What’s with all the ‘Cs’, it kind of symbolize the ‘shape’ of any human being, turning into one PATHETIC PRAWN posture whenever they are down.
I doubt I would be able to string up all these writing and make it seem sensible to anyone reading it! Anyway, its for me to know! My daily morale for the past 8 days had never stop heading down towards ZERO…
Problems, Worries, Troubles… They are everywhere and kept coming, why can’t they just get away from me and my surrounding people? Why do they have to continuously haunt / stalk me every now and then? What do they always happen at the least expected time? Why cant there be a STOP to all these? Hahahaha… Everyone knows that only dead people will be free from these unexplainable occurrences.
What can you do when you are so far away?
Why worry?
Leave it to them – they can handle without you!
Let nature takes it course or at a better stride.
Why can’t I be as suave as what I wrote… I really wish to enjoy the meaning of tranquil without having to be a dead person and I wish the same for those people I hold dear. If I were to be a dog, does every dog have its day applies to me too? If mine were to come soon, can I exchange mine with THEM so that they would be free from all these nonsense?
Problems are part and parcel of your life, it makes you grow stronger. To hell with anyone who dares say that to me! STRONGER – I don’t even fucking feel at all stronger but cultivate a heart so cold, an inability to shed a few deserving tears, an amusing reaction to smile and laugh during the bad times. GA NI NA, You call all THESE as being stronger? I term it as Abnormal, Pitiful & downright FORLORN. SUPER ‘LOR LAN’!!!
Have you heard of a song: <不能跟情人说的话>? Do you know the difference between: Being Strong & Putting on a Brave Front?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are nowhere near to being GREAT! Don’t you fucking expect me to pity or sympathize you because you got a BIG FRIED SQUID for not turning up on your new job! Just because you are worried of that someone wellbeing, vexed over that sudden change in personality and fear the danger that might fall upon and eventually affected your so-called NO-HEART in working by keeping that person company!!! Which does you lack? IQ / AQ or EQ, that makes you can’t think right and not secure that dough of yours?
I am as vexed as anybody and that person also happens to be someone I can’t live without! Does that mean I can stay at home and not go to work? Does that means I can book the earliest flight back to Singapore?
After a few days of effort, you come back telling me that you BO BIAN LIAO! If you lack that piece of love and effort, you are free to go, i dont have time to even talk to you or make you realise that you are wrong. You are forever not wrong, just lead your life and stay clear!
Drop the ball, suit you – BYE!
Do you think you are the almighty? Do you think you are able to change things within a few days compared to what I did for the past few years and coming years in putting / pulling every slightest thing in order?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Test water – Don’t you find it at all TOO childish for your age? I felt so ashamed for you when you tell me all these rubbish! TEST WATER – what a laugh!
Asking something in the hope that the someone will reply something which you want to hear. Foolishly thinking that such reply can determines – LOVE for oneself? GA NI NA! Can you fucking wake up your idea?
SERVE YOU RIGHT that the reply turn out to SHOCK the hell out of you, simply because it your childishness to be blame!
You are guts sure that you wont do it, why use it as a gauge to TEST WATER! Why asked? Now that people abide by finding routes for you – you term it as: A bit of fear for oneself safety also doesn’t have! Isnt this asking for it? If you would have been mature enough to not use such things as a level gauge.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
All you want is to be that Mr. NICE GUY in front of those people who will be easily shaken by your WORDS and convince by your presentation and making that someone a fallen victim, attack by those people who loves the victim TEN TIMES more than you. Do you know what you are doing or saying? Do you know it hurt TEN TIMES more for them to scold or turn their back against that someone whom they most pamper? Are you being fair to that victim who is or had absolutely no idea what is happening once sober?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
CCB – You just try to tear down what I built up for years; don’t push your luck – I VOW I won’t SPARE YOU! Don’t think too highly of yourself, you don’t inherit what you assume you have… the ability to make a mess in my family. You may think I don’t talk sense, you jolly well get this right – I DON’T TALK SENSE WHEN IT INVOLVES MY FAMILY!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A whole mess of situation… happening… I am tired!
Labels: Blog
